Why Are You Holding My Hand So Tight?: How I Should Have Answered My Husband.

We are celebrated our 15th anniversary early this year because September is not a good time to travel for us. As we celebrated this past week and reflected on all that God has done in us and in our marriage along with Father’s Day, I thought it fitting to let you know how amazing my husband is…

“Everyone put down their devices. We should be talking to each other,” came from the drivers seat.

A little miffed that such a statement was interrupting my ability to comment on a post I thought Really? We’re in a car. We rarely talk in the car. In fact most of the time we sing. Isn’t the car one of the best places for this? We’re not at the dinner table. We’re not entertaining guests. We’re not replacing “family time” with devices. Then I realized I said it all that out loud.

He said something. Then I said something. Then he said something and so on. Neither one of us can recall the details. But what clearly stuck with me was the choice I made.

The dialogue ended with his, “No we don’t!” What we didn’t do was spend enough time with each other, just us.

My excuses and arguments sat loaded on the tip of my tongue ready to fire like a semi-automatic the minute he gave indication of needing to breath. I was trying to be polite because you know if someone pauses their obviously done ;). Then, as this last statement came out of his mouth I turned toward him and out came, “Never mind, it’s not worth it.”

Chose to hear heart over tone

photo credit: fd via photopin cc
text by: Shelly Tiffin

In that moment, I looked at my husband and I chose to hear his heart over his tone. His heart was passionately fighting for more time with his wife. Seriously, how fortunate and blessed am I that my husband wants me around more. I know many couples who spend as little time together as possible.

I heard, “My husband loves me. He wants to spend time with me.” They weren’t just words; they were real.

This isn’t a fairy tale, and he isn’t a make believe prince trying to sweep me off my feet. I’ve been his wife for almost fifteen years, and I no longer resemble anything close to a princess, not that I ever did. But to him I did, and to him I do, and I’m his princess, and he still wants to be with me. Seeing his genuineness and vulnerability made me feel like that fairy tale princess though.

Later that same day, my mom offered to take the kids so we could go on a date. She had no clue about our “conversation” in the car earlier. So, after eating dinner at a family owned Italian restaurant where the most adorable old man accented our dinner with the sound of Italy coming from the coolest accordion I’d ever seen, we decided to do a little shopping.

Not more than two steps into the walk from the car to the door, I felt his hand reach down and grab mine. But he wasn’t just holding my hand. There was a strength in his grip that screamed, “You’re worth protecting.”

I thought about the morning conversation my hand began to hug his.

“Why are you holding my hand so tight?” He asked.

Why are you holding my hand so tight

Here’s what I should have told him, but didn’t. Thankfully, he will be able to read it.

“Because you not only love me, you like me. You don’t just tolerate me, you enjoy my company. You think I’m worth protecting, and you fight for me.”

There’s no way I could’ve completely known at the age of twenty all that I was getting into when I agreed to spend the rest of my life with this man, but I’m sure glad I did.  Not many girls get to marry the man of their dreams, and neither did I. What God gave me in Kyle was so much more than I could’ve ever ordered.

(To read another story about how amazing my husband is click here.)

What ways do your significant others make you feel loved?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • David Mike

    This was such an awesome post. I hope my wife feels the same way about me. (I’m sure she does.) We do let technology get in the way sometimes. I love my wife so much that I sometimes get in trouble for exclaiming it too often on social media. Thanks for sharing!

  • Michelle Girard

    i understand Shelly I am grateful ever day that God gave me the man I needed not the man I dreamed of. My dreams were so much less.

    • http://www.shellytiffin.com Shelly Tiffin

      God obviously loves us. :)

  • Steven Tessler

    Love it!! Something similar happened with my wife and I on our vacation while driving across the country.

    • http://www.shellytiffin.com Shelly Tiffin

      Thanks Steve.

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